Kid Fears
by DarkBard0
Summary: JJ/Emily fluff. Emily learns what JJ is afraid of. Femslash, don't like don't read.


**Title: **Kid Fears  
**Fandom: **Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Spoilers:** None  
**Summary: **Emily finds out what JJ is afraid of.  
**Rating: **PG  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N: **This is what happens when me tries to write drabble and be funny - and also what happens when she gets pestered by a certain beta reader that will remain nameless to post rubbish things and bother you nice ladies!  
**Thank You **– To my beta reader **sofialindsay **for being a pest!!

It had been a very, very long week. A long assed week that was finished off by one of _the _most boring seminars that she had ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Emily had almost lost the will to live it had been that bad. And as her ass went numb, her eyes became glazed her thoughts had wondered to the weekend and what exactly she and her girlfriend could fill it up with.

''JJ, honey?''

Glad to finally be home, Emily called into the house as she stepped through the front door, carrying a grocery bag and dropping her keys into the wooden bowl on top of a little side table. It was a relief to finally be in her own space, and immediately she felt more relaxed and comfortable.

''Emily! Oh my god, get in here!''

At JJ's terror filled voice, Emily lost all hope of comfort as she practically threw the bag down and began to run toward JJ's voice that had projected from the kitchen. Her heart thumped against her chest at the thought of what could possibly be causing that sound in JJ's voice, Emily's training quickly kicked in, as well as her immediate protectiveness over the woman she loved. Of course, due to this, she automatically unclipped her gun holster strap as she rounded into the kitchen, ready to take on anything.

So she was rather confused to find JJ hovering in the doorway, body tense but obviously unharmed. One arm wrapped around her waist, the other tangled in her hair at the top of her head. Emily looked at her girlfriend; saw her face fraught with worry, then looked around the kitchen quickly checking for signs of immediate danger. She found none. There was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

''What is it?''

She demanded lightly but seriously, finding herself just a little bit out of breath from the adrenaline rush at thinking JJ was in great danger. Emily watched as the blonde, still tense and frightened looking, pointed to the other side of the kitchen.

''What? Is there someone outside?''

Emily questioned, frowning as she tried to peer out of the window at the other side of the room. JJ huffed irritably.

''I have a _gun_ Emily; I'm not scared of anyone outside. Look!''

The older woman looked at her lover, still frowning, then followed JJ's outstretched arm and the finger that pointed toward the window. Or not the window, the counter top where the sink was in the corner. Emily narrowed her eyes a little bit, but still didn't see anything wrong.

''At what?''

JJ, getting extremely frustrated that Emily wasn't paying enough attention, thrust her finger and wiggled it toward the counter as she scoffed. Everything about her demeanor was anxious, her beautiful features contorted into weariness, fear and anger.

''That…that…monster! It's been there since I got home…watching! Waiting…''

She responded in a hushed, suspicious tone. Emily looked at her for a moment, as though she had lost her ever loving mind, and then seeing how serious the blonde was moved forward a little bit. There indeed was a spider sitting motionlessly upon the counter top. Finding the situation completely absurd, she chuckled slightly, smirking as she turned to look back at JJ.

''Baby, really? A spider? A teeny tiny little spider?''

The brunette teased playfully, giving JJ a rather patronizing look as she quirked an eyebrow. Armed unsubs she could handle, but not a tiny little spider? Emily had honestly never seen JJ quite so put out in all there time together. And she had never seen her pout and scowl in such a way as she was doing now. But it was rather cute.

''Don't you 'baby' me, I refuse to be mocked. It's not _just _a spider, either. It's a freaking monster. Why do you think it has all those legs anyway? So it can crawl over your face in the middle of the night and do god knows what whilst your asleep. Make things that like…_hatch _inside of you or something…''

As JJ began to get carried away, a serious scowl marring her features and her hands flailing pointedly, Emily bit down on her lower lip to keep from laughing. It was the fact that her girlfriend seemed to be convinced that what she was saying was true. It might have been one of the sweetest things she had ever seen in her life. Especially considering that JJ was always so composed. She had to be, to get up in front of all those cameras all the time. Emily loved seeing the JJ that came out when she was at home, and was thoroughly enjoying this particular little freak out.

''It's not _Alien _JJ.''

She pointed out teasingly, getting an immediate glare from the younger woman.

''Where'd you think they got the idea from, huh? Freaking evil assed spiders, that's where.''

JJ retorted seriously, clearly still believing every word of what she was saying. Emily just started at her for a moment, blinking before trying to snap out of it. JJ was an extremely intelligent woman…yet here she was, saying things like that!

'' I can't believe you're scared of a spider!''

Once again, she received a defensive and admonishing glare. One laced with petulant warning too.

''Hey, if you keep mocking me you're not getting laid tonight! Just get rid of it.''

The blonde threatened, although not very effectively as she folded her arms across her chest and pouted like a five year old. Emily half expected her to stamp her foot.

''I'm surprised you didn't shoot it!''

''Okay _that _would be stupid. It would have left a hole in the counter!''

The pause in her reply gave away that she had actually thought about it, the poor spiders only saving grace of being shot to death was the damage it would cause the counter. Emily scoffed, shaking her head slightly but then tried to smother her amusement at JJ's warning glare. The threat seemed to be getting more serious by the second, and Emily didn't think she should have run the risk of not getting laid. After a day like today she could seriously use some action, so dutifully she started to approach the spider.

''Okay little guy, time to meet the big cheese in spider heaven…''

''Don't kill it!''

JJ squeaked, making Emily stop by the counter and turn around, eyebrows raised in surprise. JJ was still hovering anxiously, jiggling about and shaking her head slightly.

''Don't kill it?''

''No! Set it free.''

She demanded, like Emily should have known in the first place that's what she was supposed to do. It only made Emily really confused that suddenly, her girlfriend cared about the spider.

''JJ, I thought you said it was a monster? You made it sound like it was gunna eat your head.''

Emily pointed out, making JJ roll her eyes.

''Yeah, but you still can't kill it. Just take it outside and throw it in the bushes or something.''

The brunette mirrored her lovers action, rolling her eyes as she suddenly thought about the future.

''Do I have years of this to come?''

She wondered, turning back to the counter and shuffling the spider off the counter and into her hand. JJ winced and squealed by the doorway, obviously uncomfortable that it was moving and especially that it was being carried in her hand.

''If you don't protect me from those soldiers of evil, I will never touch you again.''

Emily nodded at the threat, shrugging a little bit as she did.

''I'm taking that as a yes.''

JJ moved forward as Emily exited the back door, going down to the bottom of the garden to put the spider into the bushes down there. The anxious blonde sighed in relief slightly as she watched from the window. In no time at all, her girlfriend stepped back into the kitchen, looking rather pleased with herself.

''Does this mean I get laid now?''

As Emily approached her, a rather lecherous look playing over her features, JJ stepped back and wiggled a finger in her direction.

''Don't you come near me with those spider infected hands, wash them first!''

She insisted firmly, clearly not intending on having anything spider related near her. As insane as that was.

''Oh my god…''

''What?''

''You could have told me you were crazy _before _we moved in together!''

She explained accusingly, turning on the taps to wash her hands.

''Okay, now you're _really_ notgetting lucky!''

JJ huffed, clearly not amused.

''You know, no matter where you are, you're never more than 6 feet away from a spider?''

Since she had just said it as an observation, Emily didn't expect to get whacked on the arm.

''Hey, what was that for?''

The look in JJ's eyes were unmistakable. No one could mistake the classic Jennifer Jareau pissed off look. It was both hot and terrifying all at the same time. However, in this case, Emily knew she was in trouble and the shear power of the look made her gulp uneasily.

''The nightmares you're not gunna be seeing me have 'cos you're sleeping elsewhere tonight!''

With that, JJ turned on her heels and promptly stalked out of the kitchen, leaving Emily alone. She huffed slightly, shaking her head at what had to be the most bizarre way she had ever gotten herself into trouble with a lover. And there had been some extremely bizarre times before. Although, those bizarre instances when she had ended up in the doghouse for insane reasons always seemed to have one very strong common link.

''_Women_!''


End file.
